Blog Friends Personal

Lonely is the Hardest

Look out the window at the crowded streets below
Seems everybody has someplace to go.
Look in the mirror with far away eyes
Cry in silence at a wasted life.
Do you believe when I tell you
That lonely is the hardest.
Do you believe when I tell you
That lonely is the hardest state of all.
Suzi Quatro ‘Lonely is the Hardest’

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

Well, today is my 59th birthday and like pretty much every day of the year I’m spending it alone.

Since losing my parents in 2008 I lost what little contact I had with my aunts, uncles, and cousins – they never really bothered with me before then anyway. I was always the black sheep of the family.

As for friends? Well, I lost a lot of the fair-weather type friends when I lost my job in 2013 following my heart attack. I still see them around the area but they never bother to speak.

Other friends drifted away when my health — both physical and mental — started to decline. I’ve made new friends through my voluntary work but they mostly live a couple of hundred miles away so socializing is difficult 😔. The few that live closer involve a train journey costing £15 return, which having to survive on the pittance paid by ESA benefit is a lot of money!

For people in the 35 – 60 age range there is very little provision for combatting loneliness and isolation. Everything seems to be aimed at those 65+.

So, yet again I’ll be spending my birthday alone. As indeed I spend my life. The only social interaction I’ve had this month is 90 minutes talking with fellow volunteers at a group 50 miles from my home. So yeah, I’m feeling down on what should be a happy day.

Disability Friends Repost Stress

I just feel so stressed out over certain things right now. Someone has to raise this point urgently.

From: Musings of a Trainee Battleaxe

I can’t relax or sleep at night because I’m stressed out over certain things right now. I’m upset that due to having a disability involving the PDA nature of Autism most likely means that people will chose to punish me rather than help me. That is an awful way to have to live. There will NEVER be support there but only punishment. There will always be HATE there but not love. I’ve read so many stories this week relating to those with the PDA profile of Autism literally coming home from school as a child or work as an adult (if they’re lucky enough to get employment) actually crying and saying that they deserve to die because others have made them feel extremely bad for their issues.

via I just feel so stressed out over certain things right now. Someone has to raise this point urgently.

Friends Uncategorized

Bookworm: To Siri With Love by Judith Newman

‘My mom gets Reader’s Digest each month. In the October 2017 issue, they published an excerpt from Judith Newman’s book To Siri With Love. The excerpt piqued my interest, so I borrowed it from the library. On the exact day I started reading it, I saw a campaign on Facebook using the hashtag “#BoycotttoSiri” I read the articles about the book and was heartbroken.  This mother can’t be this bad, can she? Spoiler alert–she is.”

via Bookworm: To Siri With Love by Judith Newman

Barcelona Blog Friends

Hacer puente Barcelona

I’m in Barcelona for a long weekend. Came over to surprise a friend. Writing this at Casa Almirall bar in the El Raval area. The people I’m staying with are at work so I’m sitting watching the world go by. Barcelona is a wonderful place and I feeling totally at home here. Beautiful architecture, friendly people, fantastic galleries/museums, mouthwatering food and inebriating beers and wines. I haven’t felt this relaxed for years. Someone give me a few hundred thousand euros so I can move here!

Glad to be away from Newcastle-upon-Tyne for a while – especially on a Bank Holiday weekend which tends to bring out the worst in people (at least it does in my nevk of the woods). I don’t have to sit in my local and hear morons spouting bile about refugees, immigrants, Muslims etc. Not having to hear some bigot say “F##king n#####’s coming here coming here – claiming benefits and taking our jobs”. This is the Schrodinger’s Immigrant Paradox. It’s normally spouted by some chav in a tracksuit who’s never done a days work in their pathetic lives. Sadly I’ve got to return to the UKIP tomorrow (Monday).

Hacer puente means ‘to make a bridge’ and it’s a metaphorical way of describing taking a long weekend off.

Blog Friends

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish 

Just said goodbye to my support worker Derek. He has been made redundant and tomorrow is his last day at ISOS Housing – they had a £360,000 cut in funding. He introduced me to the guy taking over my case David who seems like a nice guy. I’m going to miss Derek though. He has helped me immensely in the time he’s supported me. Damn government and their cutbacks to social care! 

Blog Friends

Early Birthday Mail

It’s my birthday in 3 weeks or so and I only expected to receive as usual the one card. Joyce and John, an elderly couple who were dear friends of my late parents, send me a card on my birthday and at Christmas. They are the only people who do so. They have saved me from myself several times since my parent’s passing. 

However, this morning I received this package from someone I don’t even know IRL and only know through a website. I’m not going to open it until my birthday. I must admit that when I saw it that it brought tears to my eyes and hope to my beleaguered heart and soul.